Thursday, February 9, 2012

Why You're Single

Good news! I haven't disappeared off the face of the planet!

Also, shockingly, I have some spare time to blog. (I know, it's crazy.)

You know what's been bugging me lately? Gender stereotypes.

After writing a short, annoyed post on Facebook about this, I decided it wanted further explanation. According to the stuff my guy friends have been posting on Facebook (no offense, if you're one of them), nice guys are fed up with finishing last. Why are they single? Because they are nice, obviously. The only difference they can see between themselves as all the guys with attractive girlfriends is that those guys aren't nice and sensitive.
Seen this floating around?

Shall I list the people who could potentially be offended by this?

1. Girls with nice boyfriends. "Oh, so it's only the pretty girls who have jerks for boyfriends. I get it."
2. Girls with no boyfriends. "Right, I'm just waiting for a boy who's 'bad' enough for me."
3. Nice guys with no girlfriends. "So no girl will ever be interested in me. Thanks."
4. Nice guys with girlfriends. " my girlfriend ugly, or am I actually a jerk?"

But of course, that's beside the question, because being offended is a choice and if we're really going to go that way, someone could be offended at just about anything you say. Let's get more to the point.

I don't understand why guys need to separate themselves into categories of "bad" and "nice." If you're single, there could be an innumerable amount of reasons why, such as:

--You're looking for the wrong kind of girls (aka the insecure ones who like guys who treat them like dirt).
--You're too nervous to ask her out or take any kind of step past friendship.
--You're focused on only one girl and she happens to not be interested in you (not because you're "nice," but for some other reason. Like, you could actually have faults).
--The right girl hasn't come along yet and you just have to be patient. (Proverbs 3:5, anyone?)

These are only a few of the many reasons you might be single. I'm not saying these are necessarily bad; I'm just saying that you shouldn't blame being single on being "nice" when that makes little sense compared to other reasons. (I might get put in the insane asylum for saying this, but is being single actually bad?)

When you say that girls only like bad boys, this is what you're doing. First, you're saying that all girls are insecure. Second, you're saying that it's not your fault you don't have a girlfriend; it's the fact that girls want the wrong things.

But let's stop criticizing the men here for just a moment and acknowledge that a lot of girls are similarly at fault, even though they might be less blatant about it (or maybe not; there might be more Internet evidence that I have yet to see). Girls often attribute the fact that they're single to things like "guys are just looking for Barbie." Is this true? I mean, really, what are you saying? You're saying that all guys are so superficial that all they care about is that their girlfriend has a certain kind of body.

Yeah, okay, some guys really are that superficial. Some girls really are insecure. But we all need to stop putting everyone in a stereotype just because of their gender. We all want different things in relationships because we are all individual people who are very, very different from one another.

Look around, folks. Plenty of girls are dating guys who treat them well, and plenty of guys are dating girls who don't look like supermodels. Maybe you're the one who is attracted to the wrong kind of person.


  1. I dislike a lot of stereotypes, but gender differences never cease to amaze me, so I really don't mind it when people point out gender differences, even if it's an exaggeration. The problem with the "girls don't like nice guys" stereotype isn't that it's a stereotype, it's that it's almost never true! It's not an exaggeration, it's a complete misrepresentation of the facts.

    I'm glad you blogged again!

    1. I'm glad you said so, because I actually feel the same way as far as my own experience. But I do hear about a lot of girls who go for jerks (I've never met them, but they must be out there).

      Or maybe the guys who are calling their boyfriends jerks just say that because they could never like the boyfriend of the girl they like and they always believe in their own superiority...

  2. Perhaps, the stereotype stems from the insecurities of the 'nice guys' who feel the need to make up reasons for not having a relationship that will make them feel better?

    It seems to me that is a reason for many negative stereotypes, and that's just not cool. Let's face it, we all have or insecurities of one type or another, but to broadcast a compensation that will inevitably add to someone else's insecurity is just selfish.